Save Today

What did you do today to save the world from total destruction?

Why is that my problem?? If people want to destroy themselves, let 'em!!

If you need urgent help and are crying out: "help save marriage," you will have to pull it together, by your bootstraps if you have to. You will have to give your all to save your marriage. Of course it is very upsetting to watch your marriage, which was once so precious and important, start falling apart. Your heart is probably breaking as you watch the two of you start going your separate ways. You do not want this to happen! You have to do something! So, you have to pull it all together again. You have to help save marriage.

1. First of all, calm down:

Take a moment to catch your breath and step back from the situation. You do not have to take a break, necessarily; you must simply give yourself some time to calm down. Before you try and do anything you have to cool off. Not necessarily take a break from it but to just calm down. It is easy for things to get over-heated. The old trick of counting to ten, when you are all angry, is a very good one to use now! Get yourself under control before you do anything!

Before you do anything else, take a breath. The next time something is said to you that makes you mad, calm down, get a hold of yourself and then let go of your anger. Only then can you truly learn how to communicate and take the next step to help save marriage.

2. Now you have to understand what is happening:

While you are "chilling out" and taking a moment to breathe, take a look at what is happening. Now you have to look at the situation unemotionally, emotions only lead you to danger. Have a look at the big picture; look at things from a different perspective. Remember, it is probably looking far worse than it is from where you are standing. Look at it as if from the "outside!"

Now look at it from your loved one's perspective. Try and get into your spouse's body. Also look at it from a complete outsider's perspective. (By the way, this is why marriage counseling works. You are helped to look at things in perspective.) From the outside, things may not look so bad at all. You may be surprised to find an easy solution to the whole problem. What appears as one big huge problem from the inside may only be something small.

3. Have a look at the little things you can do to improve things:

You may also become aware of the little things you do that are jeopardizing your marriage.

Here is a quote from a newsletter I receive from Proverbs 31 Ministries, called "Encouragement For Today" and it is the March 19, 2009 devotion written by Lysa TerKeurst(bulleting mine:)

"Seemingly small things that can cause great destruction as well ... especially when it comes to my marriage.

But each one of these seemingly small things can so easily and tragically wedge itself into the core of a marriage and send it screaming toward destruction"

So, keep these in mind, you may not even be aware of doing things like this, yet in the long run it can spell disaster. It may very well be the reason for your problems. You are each going your own way, not including the other enough.

4. Now something you may not think of, laugh at yourselves:

Don't take this as if you must make light of this dire situation. It only means you have to lighten up and not take yourself so serious. You may be making mountains of mole hills. It is easy to let things snowball out of control. By looking at it you may be able to see what actually started it all. It may be something small and insignificant. This is where you will probably land up laughing.

It can be hilarious to find out how a minuscule thing can turn into something so huge when it didn't have to. It can be hilarious if you are willing to let it be. Many times when people go through a rough time they will say, "Sometime we are going to look back at this and laugh!" Why wait?

5. Now comes the hard work - look for ways to improve:

Now that you have had a change to cool off and look at things from the outside, it is time to start looking for ways you can improve the situation. You now have a better perspective on the situation and you can now move on! You should now know what the root of the problem is. You now know that the problem is actually a very small thing that is easily manageable.

Here you will have to commit yourself to finding a way to improve this. It is time for action. Also, remember, do what it takes from your side. First correct the things you are responsible for. Maybe you have gotten into the bad habit of overreacting; now you have to learn not to do it. You may be the one responsible for blowing things way out of proportion, so stop! Improve the way you handle situations and everything else may just fall into place to help save marriage.

To help save marriage, work on it together. Bring back the two of you as it belongs. To help save marriage can be done easier than you think if you are willing to invest some effort in it.

Eurythmics - i save the world today

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